Wut Nonsense Rev 2 Part Two

*The Urpneys begin spraying on their Wut perfume*

Blob: Now remember, men. We are nearing the tribe of weird Wut things, so try to act Wut-ish.

F+N: Right sarge....

Nug: ....Eh, sarge.

Blob: What is it Nug?

Nug: How exactly do we act Wut-ish?

Blob: Oh,...er...well you see, men, the key to acting akin to a Wut is the structure of....er...how you use...erm...the legs!

Frizz: ...Legs?

Blob: Yes, men. All Wuts have legs. So follow that direction and you will have them fooled utterly.

Nug: This whole Wut business sounds pretty easy to me.

Frizz: No one would fall for these crummy costumes. We're walking straight into death's door.

Blob: There is no chance of us being instigated in these disguises, Men. They are helpless against us.

*Hear Wuts conversing nearby, all the Urpneys jump in a bush screaming*

Frizz: Are they getting closer?

Nug: *crouched down covering his eyes* I can't really see from this angle.

*Pildit approaches them*

Frizz: It's coming closer! It's coming closer! *sob*

Pildit: *looks at Blob* Auntie Blublous?

Blob: Eh?

Pildit: *and then Frizz* And Uncle Bruisewort. And Cousin Helianth. You've all arrived early.

Frizz: What's he talki....

Blob: *ahem* Why yes, young, er...Wut. We thought we'd make an early visit to your havenatious little forest.

Pildit: How wonderful....Why are you kneeling in that shrub?

Blob: Er...erm...we all saw *points at very small daisy* this lovely flower and just had to take a little shiff close up *quietly to Urpneys* Whiffing of daisy men.

*All three kneel and sniff at flower while glancing nervously at Pildit*

Pildit: ....I see...Well perhaps you would like to come up from there and we'll get you introduced.

Blob: How wonderful. Lead the way.

Frizz: *quietly* Sarge, are you mad?

Blob: SHH! It seems our disguises are led to this Wut mistaking us for close aqquaintienessesses, we will use this opportunity to peniferate the forest.

*Rufus and Amberley are sorting out bottles and equipment elsewhere*

Amberley: *carrying a bunch of globes* Okay here's the last of the globes...

Rufus: *staggering with boxes, blocking his vision from front* I've got some herbs here, Amberley, where should I...

*the two bump into each other everything falls on the floor*

Amberley: Oh no! *walks to mess only to step on a globe breaking it's cane*

Amberley: Agh! W, will this go back together? I, I... *tries to sit on a box, only to smash her rear through it*

Amberley: *frustrated* Gragghh, everything's going wrong!!! I don't believe...gnnkkk...*throws stick on the floor, only to smash another box to her horror*

*Amberley becomes even more frustrated. Rufus thinks to himself bewildered until suddenly perks up*

Rufus: Oh I know. *turns Amberley around and points to a globe* Amberley, Amberley. How many globes are there again? One. Two. Three.

Both: Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. *Amberley sighs calmer*

Rufus: Better?

Amberley: Yeah, but let's please get all this sorted, I don't want to show myself up in front of Pildit. *grabs broken Wut stick*

Pildit: You three wait here and I'll find my friends.

Blob: Take your time, dear.

*Pildit walks off*

Blob: Alright men, out with your bottles. Now we have integrated ourselves we may begin the poisoning.

*back to Noops*

Rufus: *working on Wut globe trying to clump sticks together to no avail*  I think it goes on...this way...*bottom half falls off* We might need some glue for this...

Pildit: Ah there you two are.

Rufus: *screams and hides the stick behind his back (it blatantly sticks out)*

Pildit: I'm sure you'll want to get acquainted with my relatives.

*to Urpneys*

Blob: We will start by spraying these large leaf growing trees situationed here.

Pildit: Greetings again.

*Urpneys all scream and hide bottles smiling nervously*

Pildit: Right. This is Rufus and this is Amberley. *points to dumbfounded Noops*

Blob: *nervous* Er....saluations, young Noops.

Pildit: And you two I believe I have told you about my relatives.

Amberley: *glares at Urpneys* Riiiiggghht.

Rufus: *chuckles* They...they're not serious, are they?....

Pildit: So I'll start with my Aunti-

*Pildit is cut off by offpanel screams and noises, he turns to see the Noops attacking the Urpneys*

Pildit: Er...have I missed something here?

Amberley: Don't worry, Pildit. We'll chase them off for you.

Pildit: *pulls Amberley away* Sorry Amberley, but I'm not sure Auntie Blubous is in the mood for sports right now.

Rufus: ...Come again?

Pildit: This is my aunt, and Uncle Bruisewort and Cousin Helianth.

Blob: *grins evilly* Charmed.

Pildit: Oh, if you excuse me I'm needed to talk with other regiments, you lot get acquainted, I'm sure you'll all have a lot to talk about.

*Pildit walks away*

Amberley: *turns angrily towards the Urpneys* What was that all about? What did you do to Pildit?

Blob: Er...what do mean, my dear Noop. We are simple nature loving Wuts as you can evidentually see with our plant-y extrusions and...lovely odor... *sprays potion at Amberley, she just looks deadpan*.

Amberley: You're not Wuts, you oink. Any idiot could tell you're an Urpney.

Frizz: Oh no! It doesn't work on them. I told you something would go wrong.

Nug: Do you think the masks let us down?

Rufus: *slyly* You didn't have a washing up liquid bottle, did you?

Nug: Nah. *glares at Frizz* Or half the toilet rolls.

Frizz: Oh shut up.

Rufus: And those are the string wigs.

Nug: Huh? Oh this old thing? Yeah, I thought I improvised well with my broom head.

Rufus: See Amberley, I told you everyone watched that program. We should try it  for...fancy...dress...*notices Amberley glaring at him and hangs his head meekly*

Amberley: Anyway, the games over. You're caught!

Frizz: Let's get out of here, sarge, while only two of them notice us.

Amberley: What a brilliant idea, now get moving!

Blob: *glares at Frizz* We won't be going anywhere, FRIZZ, and if you two little misgriences know what's best for you, you'll keep your little nose out of it.

Amberley: We just have to tell on you and you'll have the entire Wut army chasing you out!

Blob: *chuckles slyly* Oh, is that so? Perhaps you'd like to put that through a test, young Brat-Noop?

Amberley: *gets angry* I said... *tries to push the Urpneys*...get...going!!!

Frizz: *defensive* 'AY! I'm going, I'm going!

Pildit: Well I'm back and...*looks at Amberley trying to manhandle Frizz* Oh, this odd game again? Well if you’re ready to look around, Auntie, I’ll play tour guide.

Blob: *grins at Noops* Splendid. Lead on.

*Pildit and the Urpneys walks off while the Noops stand dumbfounded for a moment*

Rufus:…He’s really convinced by that costume, isn’t he?

Amberley: Pildit's too smart to fall a trick like that! We better find them and see what's going on.

*back to Urpneys*

Frizz: Those Noops saw right through our disguises! They're probably warning all their friends! Vicious armies of them! We have to get out of here!

Blob: Nonsense Frizz, so long as their Wut friends are obvious to our disguises, we are in no harm. This seems like a seclusioned enough area. Now dump away lads. *empty bottles onto trees*

Pildit: Oh there you are.

*Urpneys scream and hide their bottles*

Frizz: WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING!!!

Pildit: Oh. Suit yourself then, Uncle. I see you're enjoying our plantlife. Admittedly a bit quaint compared to your native, I bet.

Blob: Er, erm, oh yes indeed, the lovely sensperational flowers. Very commonplace back home.

Nug: But we get are weeds *Blob whacks his helmet* Yaghh!!!

Pildit: Ahh, and I see our locals are taking in some of the air. *sees Wuts blooming their flowers on their tails to take in sun, refreshed* Would you like to join in?

Urpneys: Er, well, errr....

Pildit: Come on now, don't be shy. You always looked after yourselves, I'm sure your flowers bloom well.

Blob: Er, very well, then, let's just...LOOK OVER THERE!

Pildit: Hmm? Well, if you insist Auntie.

Blob: Quickly men. *fumble in patch of flowers*

Pildit: But er, how can I see them from up there?

Blob: Okay then.

Pildit: *turns around* Ahh, they are lovely. *The Urpneys smile innocently as they have plants stuck to their tails* I thought I remembered yours being a tulip however, Helianth.

Nug: Er, well, I thought like having a change of style y'see, I mean purple going with green and all...

Blob: *gags Nug* Why don't you show us your lovely flower, Bigit?

Pildit: Oh, well of course.

* Pildit's flower blooms and glows offscreen, the Urpneys stare in amazement*

Frizz: *tears* It's beautiful....

Pildit: Well I like to keep it tucked in, a bit unweldly to lug around the size it is. Anyway, I suppose you'll be interested in tending to the rest of the wildlife here.

Blob: *still dumbstruck* Wha...oh..erm yes. Yes indeed, that's right up our alley.

Pildit: You wait here and I'll make the arrangements.

*the Noops have caught up*

Amberley: There they are. Let's spy on them. *hides behind a bush, spacey Rufus just glares out in the open before Amberley drags him in*

Blob: The plan is forging together perfectly men. We will seep through and these Wuts will be nearly the wiser. We will start by spraying these large leaf growing trees situationed here.

Rufus: *behind a bush* Spraying trees?

Frizz: These little bottles of poison won't work on those trees. They're huge! They probably have vandals spraying junk on them anyway.

Amberley: The trees. They're poisoning the trees! *jumps out bush* STOP RIGHT THERE!!! You're not hurting any of these trees!

Frizz: Oh no! It's them again!

Blob: Egh, it's just the little brat-Noop. What do you want?

Amberley: I don't know what you did to Pildit but you're not getting away with this!

Blob: Hah! Your Wut friend over there seemed quite approving of our visit. 

Amberley: Just get lost before I get nasty!

Blob: *defiant* Shan't!

Amberley: *turns to Frizz and Nug, frustrated* Will you just tell him to push off?!?

Nug: *scoffs* Of sure.

Frizz: *sarcastic* That ALWAYS works.

Blob: Face it, we're in control here. Now why don't you just go back to your...usual little green rabbit goings about and scurry off! We have a job to do. *dangles bottle mockingly in front of Amberley*

Amberley: *fumes* Why you!... Give me that! *grapples at the Urpneys' bottles*

Pildit: What's happening now?

Blob: Quickly lads, time for Urpney tactic #158.

F+N: Right sarge, errr....

Blob: Wounded innocent victim.

*the Urpneys fall on the floor in mock pain*

Blob: Oh sob. Oh the pain! Struck down by this vile Noop.

Frizz: Ow, oww it hurts!

Nug: *whispers* That's good acting.

Frizz: Whose acting? I'm in serious pain. Ow-ww-ww.

Pildit: Auntie, are you all right?

Blob: Oh fine, young Bligit.

Pildit: Pildit.

Blob: Pildit. Just a few bruises from when these hooligans bombarderated us. I'll survive.

Amberley: What a load of complete... *he and Amberley are suddenly swept by magic orb*

*Pildit drags them via magic to a corner*

Pildit: You really should be careful playing with Uncle Bruisewort, he has very fragile stems.

Amberley: Oh, come on Pildit, they're obviously Urpneys in crummy disguises.

Pildit: What?

Amberley: Urpneys! Big noses? Lizard tails? Tiny little brains?

Pildit: Well, I've known my cousins for many years, I think I would have caught on if they were Urpneys.

Rufus: Oh come on. They're not THAT good costumes, Pildit, you can see the stitch marks and everything.

Pildit: *to himself* I sure hope they can't hear any of this from here. *looks in their direction* They're gone.

Amberley: Look we can prove it to you just as soon as we find them and rip their noses off.

*Pildit looks stunned and fires a forcefield in front of the Noops that they bump into*

Rufus: What the?...

Pildit: I think it may be best to keep you lot separate until I get to the bottom of this.

Amberley: Pildit!

*Pildit walks through barrier*

Amberley: H,..how can he possibly be falling for such a crummy plan?!?

Rufus: Maybe if we go to the village and get the othe-

Amberley: Wait, the barrier stops up in the air. Our leaves. *wanders to get leaves*

Rufus: *follows, mumbling to himself glumly* ....There's always some other folk that are, like, perfect for the situation we're in but it's always just us. We never go "Hey, I bet Wildit could deal with this" or "Say, let's ask the Dream Maker to do one of his fancy spells, I bet that'll sort it"...